Not worth it
by Marie Z
Summary: Because some people are just not worth it. You just have to realise it from the beginning...


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Some people are just not worth it. And they tend to prove it again and again. And so you feel like such an idiot for not having realized it before. Somehow they show you in every way they can that they deserved neither you nor the attention you paid to them.

And you hate it. Because they reach a point when you can find no excuse for them. Or for yourself. Something to justify their actions and help you forgive them. For the billionth time. Anything. Even the stupidest reason would do. But there is none left.

Hermione always thought that she would realize it from the first minute, should she be in any kind of a relationship with such a person. And she would walk away. That very moment. She had a plan. She would detect the mistake and erase it. And she would stick to the plan. She always did.

But somehow she didn't detect his mistake. Or mistakes. Any of them. Oh wait, she did but she just never got to the next step. She never knew how. Erasing a mistake from your essay is one thing but erasing someone from your life, especially someone that got themselves so into it, is another.

She never should have let him in, in the first place. But once she got to know him she just couldn't help herself. She wanted to see him, she wanted to talk to him, to laugh at his jokes, to smell the way his hair smelled, to bury her hand in his. To be with him.

Some people call it love.

She always thought that she would see it coming and she would leave. Maybe she did see it coming but for some unreasonable, illogical and totally crazy reason, she didn't leave. She just stared at it, whatever it was.

Other people saw it too. Harry did. Ron did. Ginny did. And they told her that she would get hurt. Eventually. But she was stubborn enough to just ignore them all and let herself fall. Simply fall. In her dreams Draco would always be there to catch her. In her dreams…

Of course, they were right. And for the first time, she was wrong. Because eventually she did get hurt. He hurt her. In the worst possible way. By ignoring her. Telling her that she was insignificant enough that it was the same for him whether she stayed or not. At the same moment that she was telling him how important he was for her. How she had loved him like no one else before. How he was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

When the last word escaped his mouth the smile froze on hers. She waited and waited for him to smirk at her and tell her that he was joking so that they could laugh together but he didn't. He just took off, leaving her in the empty classroom, by herself, not sure whether to cry her eyes out or not.

Alright, she had her friends to support her, comfort her, help her get through this. Harry would tell her that he knew about pain and Ginny would come to her dorm with a plate full of brownies and a big smile trying to make her feel just a little bit less miserable.

And Ron… Ron would be there for her too. In a way he had never been before. Like he had matured all of a sudden. Or was she so absorbed in her little fairy tale that she had missed such big parts of her friends' lives? She really hoped not.

She wanted him in pieces, dead meat, alone with nobody to care for him. She wanted to take revenge and make him feel just a hint of her pain. She would do anything. She was so unbelievably mad. But frankly she just wanted him back. She wanted her happiness back.

She wasn't sure whether to cry or not. She just lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, skipping classes and not doing homework. The funny thing was, she did not worry. She couldn't even think about worrying. She couldn't think in general.

Her friends did everything in their power to stop her from falling. Because now even she knew that no one would be down there to catch her. Then why didn't she just get up? She had no idea how to get up.

And honestly, she just wanted them all gone. And leave her alone. Stop dizzying her with frivolous things when she felt like dying. She didn't want people touching her, or kissing her, or hugging her. Which they did a whole lot.

She just wanted to be alone.

To think about it. To realize it fully. To take it in.

To understand what "the end" really meant.

A/N: The story pretty much says it all.

She'll miss ya, Kat.


End file.
